The Incredible Melting Mandle

The Incredible Melting Mandle


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New for Christmas 1977, it's the Incredible Melting Mandle. He's cast in wax and hand-painted by skilled U.S. labor. Something to treasure for many years, to be sure, but how long can you resist the wick that beckons from atop his cranium?

When you inevitably set him aflame, he will decompose over the course of three glorious, unforgettable hours. Afterwards you get a solidified pool of viscera for your keepsake box.

Contains acrylic paint: burn in a ventilated area. Allow clearance in case of tippage. Don't burn it unsupervised. Don't let your kids even look at it, cause they get ideas.

comes packaged in a polyethylene bag with shiny card stock header, as pictured. Stands about 5" tall (not including the wick). Allow up to seven days between ordering and delivery.

Wait, where you going? Don't you want to see the video? Come ON, you can't decide until you've seen the video:


Paypal and Direct.

Shipping from United States

Allow up to seven days between payment and shipment. You can contact me before purchasing to check if I can ship out sooner.

Domestic orders ship USPS First Class (unless weight or size necessitates Priority Mail or Parcel Post). International orders all ship via USPS First Class. If that's too slow, contact me before purchasing to arrange rush delivery.

Insurance is not included, and is the sole responsibility of the buyer to arrange before purchasing.

Returns & Exchanges

I gladly accept returns and exchanges

Just contact me within: 14 days of delivery

Ship items back to me within: 30 days of delivery

I don't accept cancellations

But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.

The following items can't be returned or exchanged

Because of the nature of these items, unless they arrive damaged or defective, I can't accept returns for:

  • Custom or personalized orders
  • Perishable products (like food or flowers)
  • Digital downloads
  • Intimate items (for health/hygiene reasons)

Returns and exchange details

I'll cancel any order on request with no questions asked, as long as it hasn't shipped yet. If you want to return something, send it to the return address on your shipping label at your own expense, and contact me to provide a tracking number. I'll refund the item cost when I receive it in undamaged, re-sellable condition.
Packages that are lost, delayed, or damaged by the postal service are not my responsibility to track or replace. But I try to be a nice guy, so contact me if there are any problems and we'll make a deal.


Not currently available for commissions.